Best of VCR: My Favorite St. Patrick's Day Joke

Here is my favorite St. Patrick's Day joke. It is chock full of all the personality and humor that you would come to expect from a supreme race of story tellers!

A backpacker traveling on foot through Europe, stops in the Eternal City of Rome, and finds himself tagging along on a tour of the Vatican. While on the tour, he spots a gold-plated phone guarded by a lone Swiss Guard with a sign over it that says, “Converse with the Almighty - $10,000 a minute.” Being intrigued by the sight, he confirms with the Swiss Guard that it was indeed a hotline to Heaven, and he could surely talk to the God if he could afford the fee. Being penniless, he laments at his loss opportunity and continues on his way.

Several months later he finds himself hiking through the rolling, green hills of the Irish countryside and ducks into a small Irish pub to dodge an intensifying rain storm.

After shaking the raindrops off his cap, he sees to his disbelief what appears to be the same gold-plated phone that he saw at the Vatican months prior, positioned behind the bar. This one; however, has an accompanying sign that reads, “Converse with the Almighty - $.25 a minute”.

Being in a state of stark confusion, and after confirming with the bartender that the phones were indeed identical, the backpacker inquires how can the Vatican - with all of its rich treasures - be charging $10,000 a minute, and this small pub - with many leaks in the ceiling- be charging only $.25 a minute.

The bartender breaking a half grin and instantaneously coming to life with sparkling eyes as if he had been waiting for this question for centuries leans towards the backpacker. With an overflowing pride that he can not fully contain and all the assurance and conviction that can be found in and framed by a strong Irish brogue, the bartender whispers his secret, “My dear traveler, the answer is obvious, here it is a local call!”

Best of VCR: The Temperaments of God

Originally posted 06/05/2008:

I often noted, and very much over the years tried to reconcile, the difference in temperaments between the God in the Old Testament (Yaweh), and the same God in the New Testament (God the Father).

Yaweh was a very stern God who would strike down your enemies down and let you wander 40 years in the desert if you made a mistake. The kind God in the New Testament - - who was the same exact God -- was a loving Father, and through his Son told us to love our enemies. He was a God who allowed what was most dear to Him to be sacraficed for our mistakes.

I once had a college professor try to offer an explanation. He said that in the Old Testament we were in our infancy stage with God and he treated us as such, like toddlers. Don’t touch the outlet, don’t go in the street, you will be severely punished and have to sit on the couch if you do what you are thinking. He said by the time the New Testament came along, we had grown up and our relationship with God advanced lovingly to where our parent became more of a trusted friend and confidant.

This made somewhat sense to me, but once again the words of St. Jean Vianney brought me closer to what was the true answer. He directed me to the exact beginning of the New Testament for the time when God’s temperament changed.

He said God’s anger was "hanging over our heads like a sword ready to strike us down, [but] as soon as the Holy Virgin appeared upon this earth, his anger was appeased." He saw the level of perfection that his creation could achieve, a creature than would never disobey, betray or disappoint Him; there the Virgin Mother stood in front of Him. Once again, His anger was "appeased." His temperament was changed.

Vianney tells of the special relationship that the Trinity has with this perfect human creation:

God views the Blessed Mother as the masterpiece of his creation that He made with his own hands. He takes great pride in her because it is His work done to absolute perfection.

The Son takes pleasure in the heart of Mary, from which He drew his mortal blood (the Blessed Mother provided the mortal makeup to Christ). He used this blood He received from her to "ransom" it for us so that we might be reconciled to the Father.

And The Holy Spirit considers the Blessed Mother His temple, a place of His dwelling, because He conceived with in her.

These beautiful insights from St. Jean Vianney really reinforces why we venerate the Blessed Mother, and why she will never be refuse any request she makes on our behalf in the presence of God.

So the next time you are watching The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston and see Yaweh striking down Israel’s enemies in the Red Sea, venerate Our Blessed Mother. Because of her we were not next.

US Catholic Church Growing

Despite the most horrible, stomach-turning scandals ever in the history of the Roman Catholic Church coming to light over the past decade, our numbers are growing:

"U.S. membership has increased in the Catholic Church — the nation's largest Christian body — but the No. 2 Southern Baptist Convention, along with most mainline Protestant denominations, reported continuing decline, according to new figures released by the National Council of Churches."

Take a look at these growth numbers over the past year, comparing the home team with other Protestant sects:

The Catholic Church: 68.1 million, up 1.49 percent. [Blogger note: represents over 1 million people entering]
Southern Baptist Convention: 16.2 million, down 0.24 percent.
The United Methodist Church: 7.8 million (U.S.), down 0.98 percent
The Church of God in Christ: 5.5 million, no change.
National Baptist Convention, U.S.A., Inc: 5 million, no change.
Evangelical Lutheran Church in America: 4.6 million, down 1.62 percent.
National Baptist Convention of America, Inc.: 3.5 million, no change.
Assemblies of God: 2.9 million, up 1.27 percent.
Presbyterian Church (USA): 2.8 million, down 3.3 percent. ."

The Protestant churches in the U.S. are in a very bad place right now. Many of them are establishing ideologies within their church that is strictly in contrast with God's teachings in the Bible. They try to explain this away, but their church members know. Say what you want about the Roman Catholic Church, I will bet my life of where their position will be on abortion, gay marriage, euthanasia, embryonic stem cell research, etc.. five centuries from now.

I firmly believe this growth is a byproduct of the U.S. Bishops forcefully speaking out over the past two years on moral issues instructing their flocks.

People always get it wrong. They believe if you need numbers you soften and modify your beliefs (the Big Tent - so they say). In truth, it is the complete opposite. People respond quicker and more enthusiastically to conviction. The continuity in the bedrock teachings of our Church represent two millenniums of the greatest minds in the world and is extremely attractive to millions if it is heard unfiltered. And don't forget a little thing called the Holy Spirit as well.

"You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it" (Matt. 16:18)

1/21 Post Note: The Vatican has confirmed that the increasing Catholic population is not only a U.S. trend but a world trend, with an increase of +1.7% growth this year. 19 million more baptisms this year than last year.

The Blobfish; Things to Come

This is a picture of the blobfish, a fish found off the coast of Australia. It has no muscles, just basically a gelatin like covering.

I saw this picture the other day and it alarmed me significantly. I came to the conclusion, "Boy this is the direction my looks are heading in." Actually, put some glasses on it, and it pretty much looks like any patriarch member of my family who lived past 70 years old.

See No... Hear No... Speak No...

I can't help but hear my dearly-departed Irish grandmother's (County Longford) words echo in my head, "May God, Forgive Ya.." on this post.

In watching the State of the Union the other night, I couldn't help but draw strong comparisons between Obama, Biden and Pelosi being in the same camera shot, and the three-man government that was in judgment of Charleston Heston. Tell me if you see it:

Top Baseball Prospect Trades Home Runs for Homilies

Every once is a while a story comes around that separate the Deist's perceptions from secularist's perceptions. This is a great story where most of the worldly-thinking, materialistic masses will think, "What is he thinking???", and those who understand the magnitude and impact of priesthood will think, "He couldn't have made a better $29,000 choice."

"[Grant] Desme, 6-foot-2 and 205 pounds, delivered one of the finest statistical seasons in the minor leagues last year, hitting 31 homers with 89 RBI and 40 stolen bases. He was ranked the No. 8 prospect in Oakland's organization by Baseball America, and in November was named Most Valuable Player of the Arizona Fall League, the most prestigious talent showcase for minor leaguers.

But even as his career was beginning to blossom, Desme felt a tug from somewhere other than the diamond. During an injury-plagued 2008 season, in which he missed all but two games because of wrist and shoulder problems, he began reassessing his priorities.

Then Desme, born and raised in a devout Catholic family, said he had a powerful religious experience before last season.

"I had a really strong feel of a calling, a real strong desire to follow it. But I guess in a way I fought it," he said on a media conference call Friday. "As the year went on, God blessed me and I had as good a year as I could have ever imagined. But that almost reconfirmed my desire (to become a priest). I wasn't at peace with where I was at."

Read more on this story here:

Reason for Optimism; Forthcoming Pro-Life Generations

The Knights of Columbus financed a survey by Marist college to gauge the pro-life representation in different generations:

"The survey, sponsored by the Knights of Columbus, finds Baby Boomers (those aged 45-64) are the least pro-life, with 51 percent saying abortion is "morally wrong." [Blogger Note: Still the Majority]

The good news for the pro-life movement is the next two generations of Americans are pro-life.

Millennials, those young Americans between the ages of 18-29, have 59 percent of their generation saying abortion is morally wrong. Members of Generation X (30-44 years of age) say abortion is morally wrong at a 60% clip.

More than 6 in 10 of the Greatest Generation (those 65+) feel the same about opposing abortion.

Supreme Knight Carl Anderson told LifeNews.com today that the survey results are exciting to him because it represents hope for an abortion-free future."

Second-Class Relics Available

Here are some second-class relics cards that would be welcome spiritual additions to any home, in the purpose of asking for these holy Catholics' intercessions for our needs, and to pass on as cherished sacramentals to your kids.

Received my beautiful Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen relic card today, with a swatch of his clothing attached. Write his canonization cause and request one: info@sheencause.org

A year or two back, I received a Mother Teresa relic card with a piece of her clothing. I am unsure if these are still available now that she is Beatified, but it can't hurt to ask.
relic@motherteresa.org

At the same time as I received the Mother Teresa card, I received a second-class relic card of his Eminence Cardinal Ignatius Kung. His nephew, Joseph, is in charge of the Cardinal's Foundation. JMKUNG@aol.com . Contact Mr. Kung and see if he has any still available.

Finally, as well a year or two back, I contacted Enrique de la Vega evegazorro@cox.net who designed a small standing cross with the relic of Fr. Miguel Pro's casket embedded in it. The cost is $30.00 to cover the cost of producing the cross.

It is important to specific these are not something to collect, these are sacraments to be used spiritually and hopefully advanced these great Catholics' Causes. Those mentioned above are complete inspirations to, and powerhouses of, our Catholic Faith and these relic cards should be treasured.

It is against our Church's directive to ever purchase first- or second-class relics. A free-will offering is requested, there is no set price, please be generous.

Normally you can not get access to obtaining first- or second-class relics. The only legitimate time is at the beginning of their canonization process, which makes this timing perfect.

Blessed Miguel Pro: The World's Much Needed Story

Frequent visitors will notice I recently put the picture of Blessed Fr. Miguel Pro SJ up at the top of my blog. Since hearing this priest's life story a few years back, I have been immersed in it. The impact that this life story has had on me has been obvious, considering the name of this blog.

Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix does a much better job in telling the story of this holy priest than I can:

"The plan of the president of Mexico was simple: arrest Miguel Pro, bring him before the firing squad, watch him deny his faith in an attempt to save his life, then capture his cowardice on film and thereby disgrace the Church, especially its priests. That was the plan of the president, Plutarco Elias Calles. But as God says through the Prophet Isaiah (55:8-9), “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. As high as the heavens are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts.”

The first step of the president’s plan seemed promising. Miguel, a Jesuit priest, was arrested along with his brothers Roberto and Humberto. They were taken to the Mexico City jail, locked in cells, and subjected to frequent questioning. Though unable to prove them guilty of crimes deserving capital punishment, President Calles ordered Padre Pro’s execution, together with his brother Humberto. Moreover, the president invited government officials, members of the press and photographers to be present for the execution to witness and to capture on film the spectacle of disgrace that he was certain was about to occur.

At 10 a.m. on Nov. 23, 1927, the prisoner was taken from his cell and led across the compound to the execution site. Even before he reached the place of his martyrdom, the plan began to unravel. As Padre Pro walked with his crucifix in one hand and a rosary in the other, one of the policemen who had helped to capture him a few days before broke ranks and approached him with tears, begging the priest to forgive him for his part in the ordeal. Reaching out to him as a brother, Padre Pro said, “Not only do I forgive you, I also give you thanks.”

Upon arrival at the wall of execution, the priest asked permission to pray before being executed. Being granted his wish, he knelt before the wall riddled with bullet holes from previous executions and, clasping the crucifix and the rosary next to his heart, he asked God for the grace of a holy death. Then, he rose, kissed the crucifix, extended his arms in the form of a cross and, facing the firing squad, declared: “May God have mercy on you. May God bless you. Lord, you know that I am innocent. With all my heart I forgive my enemies.” Finally, as the firing squad took aim, Padre Pro said in a calm and steady voice, “¡Viva Cristo Rey!” “Long live Christ the King!”

As the execution proceeded and he breathed his last breath, there was not a single expression of cowardice on his face, no fear or anger in his voice; there was only forgiveness and filial trust in God. The president’s plan had failed. Padre Pro was dead in his earthly body but he had triumphed over death. As St. Paul writes (1 Cor 15:54f), “Death is swallowed up in victory. Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” As the president received assurance of his death on earth, Blessed Miguel Pro was already rejoicing in heaven; and the story of his heroic witness was about to spread like wildfire across his homeland and to the ends of the earth.

Padre Pro’s family collected his body, together with that of his brother Humberto who was executed after him. Their bodies, having been washed and laid out in coffins, were brought to the house of a friend, where, throughout the night, people came in ever increasing numbers to pay respect to this new priest-martyr. As the crowd expanded, the Blessed Sacrament was exposed on top of his coffin, a Holy Hour of Adoration was held, and then prayers continued until dawn.

In the morning, as the funeral procession was about to begin, those wishing to pay their final respect had increased into a sizeable crowd, despite the threats of President Calles, who had forbidden any public demonstration of sympathy. More than 500 cars joined the procession to the cemetery. As it wound its way through the streets, flowers were thrown from balconies, thousands of people lined the sidewalks, and voices shouted, over and over, “¡Viva Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe! ¡Viva Cristo Rey!”

At the gates of the cemetery, brother priests of Mexico, despite the danger of being arrested and executed themselves, asked for the privilege of carrying the martyr’s body to the place of burial and of lowering it into the grave. The family graciously granted permission and, bearing the coffin together, they brought his body, and that of his brother Humberto, to their place of rest.
The plan of President Calles was in shambles. The Plan of God, on the other hand, moved full steam ahead. Despite the president’s order that the photographs not be published, they were printed and distributed across the country and indeed around the world. People who had never heard of Miguel Pro now admired him as a martyr. Within days, he had become the most popular priest in Mexico and he remains so even today.

What is more, what he accomplished in life is nothing compared to what he has accomplished in death. Before his martyrdom, of which he had a premonition, he had told a friend, “If I am ever caught, be prepared to ask me for things when I am in Heaven.” To another friend, he had joked that, if asked to give his life for the faith, he would deal out favors from heaven as if they were a deck of cards. [Blogger Note: This is a very similar promise to the one St. Therese of Lisieux made] Indeed, many favors and miracles occurred, within weeks of his martyrdom, from healing of incurable illnesses to dramatic conversions of hardened sinners. While persecution against the Church continued for years, and hundreds of other priests and tens of thousands of other Catholics lost their lives, their resolve to remain faithful witnesses to the end was strengthened by the courageous example of their compatriot Padre Pro.

In 1988, Pope John Paul II beatified Miguel Pro, bringing great honor to the priesthood and immense joy to the faithful in Mexico and far beyond. In his beatification homily, the Holy Father said of Blessed Miguel Pro, “Neither suffering nor serious illness, neither the exhausting ministerial activity, frequently carried out in difficult and dangerous circumstances, could stifle the radiating and contagious joy which he brought to his life for Christ and which nothing could take away. Indeed, the deepest root of self-sacrificing surrender for the lowly was his passionate love for Jesus Christ and his ardent desire to be conformed to Him, even unto death.”

In some exciting news, Metanoia Films, the team that brought us the impactful movie Bella, is now working on a movie about the life of Miguel Pro. The producers have mentioned it will be Braveheart meets Life is Beautiful. I can't wait. For those like me who can't wait, here is a Turner Classic movie that touches on Pro's life.

I would encourage all to pray to Blessed Miguel Pro. As Sir Thomas More said in the movie when questioned at his execution whether he believed he would see Heaven, "[God] will not refuse one who is so blithe to go to him."

Blessed Miguel Pro, pray for us as well!

Miracle Needed for Kevin Archbold

I have a fellow parishoner who needs our help. He is a very good man with a wonderful family. They are asking for the intercession of Mother Alphonsa to establish her path to canonization. Please follow this link and join in this prayerful petition.

Post Note: Kevin went home to God. Please remember his soul and his wife and his children in your prayers.

Who Inspired Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen?

This month, Masses across America marked the 30th anniversary of the passing of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen, Servant of God. On a televised show he was asked who inspired him, the answer was riviting:

"A couple of months before his death Bishop Fulton J. Sheen was interviewed on national television. One of the questions was this: "Bishop Sheen, you have inspired millions of people all over the world. Who inspired you? Was it a Pope?"

Bishop Sheen responded that it was not a Pope, a cardinal, another bishop, or even a priest or a nun. It was a little Chinese girl of eleven years of age. He explained that when the Communists took over China, they imprisoned a priest in his own rectory near the Church. After they locked him up in his own house, the priest was horrified to look out of his window and see the Communists proceed into the Church, where they went into the sanctuary and broke into the tabernacle. In an act of hateful desecration, they took the ciborium and threw it on the floor with all of the Sacred Hosts spilling out. The priest knew exactly the number of Hosts in the ciborium; thirty-two.

When the Communists left, they either did not notice, or didn't pay any attention to a small girl praying in the back of the Church who saw everything that had happened. That night the little girl came back.

Slipping past the guard at the priest's house, she went inside the Church. There she made a holy hour of prayer, an act of love to make up for the act of hatred. After her holy hour she went into the sanctuary, knelt down, bent over and with her tongue received Jesus in Holy Communion, since (at that time) it was not permissible for laymen to touch the Sacred Host with their hands.

The little girl continued to come back each night to make her holy hour and receive Jesus in Holy Communion on her tongue. On the thirty-second night, after she had consumed the last and thirty-second host, she accidentally made a noise and woke the guard who was sleeping. He ran after her, caught her, and beat her to death with the butt of his rifle. This act of heroic martyrdom was witnessed by the priest as he watched grief-stricken from his bedroom window.

When Bishop Sheen heard the story he was so inspired that he promised God he would make a holy hour of prayer before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament every day of his life. If this frail, little child could give testimony and witness to the world concerning the real and wonderful Presence of her Savior in the Blessed Sacrament, then the Bishop was absolutely bound by all that was right and true, to do the same. His sole desire from then on was to bring the world to the burning Heart of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

The little girl showed the Bishop what true courage and zeal really is; how faith could overcome all fear, how true love for Jesus in the Eucharist must transcend life itself. What is hidden in the Sacred Host is the glory of His love. The sun in the sky is symbolic of the Son of God in the Blessed Sacrament. This is why most monstrances are in the form of a sunburst. As the sun is the natural source of all energy, the Blessed Sacrament is the supernatural source of all grace and love."

Obama's Core is now Deserting Him

Completely delusional and hysterical columnist Maureen Dowd - to be only on the par with the likes of say Eleanor Cliff - is now feeling the hangover effects of the Obama Kool Aid wearing off. This was just one guest opinion column in the NY Times, but it is so much more. If Maureen Dowd is now criticizing Obama, who is next, Hugo Chavez?

"Before he left for vacation, Obama tried to shed his Spock mien and juice up the empathy quotient on jobs. But in his usual inspiring/listless cycle, he once more appeared chilly in his response to the chilling episode on Flight 253, issuing bulletins through his press secretary and hitting the links. At least you have to seem concerned.

...But in a mystifying moment that was not technically or emotionally reassuring, there was no live video and it looked as though the Obama operation was flying by the seat of its pants.

...the president intoned: “It now appears that weeks ago this information was passed to a component of our intelligence community but was not effectively distributed so as to get the suspect’s name on a no-fly list.”

In his detached way, Spock was letting us know that our besieged starship was not speeding into a safer new future, and that we still have to be scared.

Heck of a job, Barry."

I Triple-dog-dare-you on the breach of etiquette, calling Our Commander and Chief by his pre-Obama-Cult childhood name, Barry. Also interesting that she nailed the Spock comparison twice. For non-Trekies, Spock was a character on Star Trek whose race prided themselves with being non-emotional under any circumstances. Detached as mentioned in my prior post.

Too funny, and more notably his extreme liberal wing is now flanking him.

7 Centuries Foretold of the Messiah

Bishop Sheen once gave a sermon that if he was at the beginning of a human search to look for a true Messiah to follow, he would look for signs from the Almighty that the Messiah he chose was without a doubt from God, His Chosen One. No other religion can claim such specific and fulfilled prophecies on the central figure of their Faith. They were so specific that the Roman authorities, Jewish community and traveling wisemen all knew that the birth had happened without firsthand knowledge.

700 years before the birth of Christ, Christ's lineage was from the House of David was prophesied:
"In love a throne will be established; in faithfulness a man will sit on it--one from the house of David--one who in judging seeks justice and speeds the cause of righteousness." Isaiah 16:5

700 years before Christ's birth in Bethlehem the location was prophesied:
"But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come . . . one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times." Micah 5:2

700 years before the Blessed Mother conceived from the Holy Spirit it was prophesied:
Therefore the Lord Himself will give you a sign: Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and shall call His name Immanuel." Isaiah 7:14 (Blogger Note: Bishop Sheen always pointed out that this unthinkable notion of a virgin birth has always been accepted as an unquestioned truth in world history. Unbelievers will argue many ways that Christ was not Divine, but surprisingly will rarely argue that a virgin can't conceive, which would seemingly be an easier argument to win for a non-believer - again reinforcing the Doctrine's world acceptance. In fact, St. Luke who wrote about the virgin birth was a doctor, and one would think he would be the most skeptical out of the four evangelists, but he actually gives the testament.)

700 years before Christ's birth the incarnation was prophesied, that our God would become human... "a child is born"... that would be called "Mighty God":
"For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. ..." Isaiah 9:6-7

Merry Christmas!

The Worth of a Soul

Today marks the 18th anniversary of the lost of my brother, who died instantaneously at age 18 with a hidden heart condition. Anyone who goes through something like this knows how it forever alters your life. It also makes your awareness heightened to people’s struggles, especially those grieving. It makes you a better person.

Death at Holiday time is such an oxymoron. It definitely compounds the sadness as external Holiday joy takes juxtaposition against your internal grief. I remember my mother having to decide which siblings she would give my brother’s wrapped gifts to - that were left under the tree - as there was nothing else left that she could do. Some gifts obviously were not a perfect matches for the recipients, but they were warmly accepted with the realization of how much my brother wanted them and how we felt they were a link to him.

I also remember my parents getting us all gifts, and getting a grave blanket for my brother because again, that was all that was left that could be done on the material side. I remember the great personal sadness I had when reflecting on this forced, only pragmatic gift.

However, with every cross there is a blessing.

I remember listening to the car radio and hearing "Oh Holy Night" between my brother’s passing and that first Christmas without him. I have heard that song a countless times and it has always been one of my favorite songs. But at that moment I truly heard for the first time the line, "’Til He appeared and the soul felt its worth…" With this line the magnitude of the meaning of Christmas, with reflecting on my brothers’ soul and passing, was overwhelming realized and finally crystal clear. Without Christ’s birth and eventual accepted sacrifice, the soul had no worth, no graceful consideration or purpose, nor any final reward. No hope for happiness, basically no hope for anything. Abraham, Moses and even St. Joseph were not in a place of eternal happiness prior to Christ's victory.

So all who grieve this holiday season, take heart. The birth of a poverty-stricken baby, in a remote, outcast province of the Roman Empire two-thousand years ago changed eternity for all faithful people. This singular birth out of billions of historical births made a joyous afterlife and reward possible for all who struggle, care and mourn trying to actively live His Gospel. It was the greatest holiday gift for those in mourning by providing them THE eternal consolation.

Matthew 5:4: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.