Here is my favorite St. Patrick's Day joke. It is chock full of all the personality and humor that you would come to expect from a supreme race of story tellers!
A backpacker traveling on foot through Europe, stops in the Eternal City of Rome, and finds himself tagging along on a tour of the Vatican. While on the tour, he spots a gold-plated phone guarded by a lone Swiss Guard with a sign over it that says, “Converse with the Almighty - $10,000 a minute.” Being intrigued by the sight, he confirms with the Swiss Guard that it was indeed a hotline to Heaven, and he could surely talk to the God if he could afford the fee. Being penniless, he laments at his loss opportunity and continues on his way.
Several months later he finds himself hiking through the rolling, green hills of the Irish countryside and ducks into a small Irish pub to dodge an intensifying rain storm.
After shaking the raindrops off his cap, he sees to his disbelief what appears to be the same gold-plated phone that he saw at the Vatican months prior, positioned behind the bar. This one; however, has an accompanying sign that reads, “Converse with the Almighty - $.25 a minute”.
Being in a state of stark confusion, and after confirming with the bartender that the phones were indeed identical, the backpacker inquires how can the Vatican - with all of its rich treasures - be charging $10,000 a minute, and this small pub - with many leaks in the ceiling- be charging only $.25 a minute.
The bartender breaking a half grin and instantaneously coming to life with sparkling eyes as if he had been waiting for this question for centuries leans towards the backpacker. With an overflowing pride that he can not fully contain and all the assurance and conviction that can be found in and framed by a strong Irish brogue, the bartender whispers his secret, “My dear traveler, the answer is obvious, here it is a local call!”